Even The Cats Know Better!

The cats were wrestling with something when I came home. I caught it out of the corner of my eye as I walked in the doorway. There was audible "meow" sounds and scratching. When I finally arrived in the livingroom I noticed that George was dead.

When I first moved to Portland some co-workers gave me some gifts to help ease the transition. One of them was an inflatable version of our current president. The cats barbarically performed a violent act that many in this world want to do.

The question is... was this a random attack of an object, or did they have a deeper understanding of the world or their owner's/parent's feelings?

BR

Padded Guitar Case

We began rehearsal and noticed a peculiar smell of an unknown origin. The guitar player thought it was his sweaty feet from being at work all day. I thought it was the loaf of cinnamon raisin bread that was cooking in the breadmaker. We continued to rehearse like normal. The guitar player (Todd Jackson--yes "Jackson" J Holler) as he will be known to all from this point on) went to put the guitar in its case when he noticed a horrific smell.
The smell was of an intense jungle mixture of body odor and Ajax. It brought tears to our eyes instantly. We then noticed in the corner of the case a petrified nugget of love. Yes everyone, one of our two cats (Ric or Roberto) to a healthy defecation and urination (unclear as to what came first or if one or two of the cats were involved) in the nicely lined and padded guitar case.
We immediately went to work. Rock-hard feces was scooped out and a "urine neutralizer" spray was utilized and covered the entire padded, fur lined section. It is currently still airing out from our discovery last night.
Next was finding out who was responsible. Each cat was interrogated with no answer. It seemed that Roberto wished to hang around the violated guitar case after the discovery where Ric was making himself unavailable. Should we consider that Roberto is responsible because he returned to the scene of the crime, or was Ric's hiding of himself pointing a finger at his bowel and bladder?
Kate and I then began to ponder the reasons why they would consider doing this to our friend's guitar case. We have recently taken over the living room to create a band rehearsal space and this moved the kitty litter into the kitchen. Now R and R have a litter box upstairs and downstairs incase they didn't feel like going upstairs to relieve themselves or vice-versa. We couldn't tolerate having a box in the kitchen so it was consolidated into one box in the bathroom. Maybe they didn't like having their second bathroom taken away from them. Imagine if you happen to have an upstairs and downstairs bathroom in your place of residence and someone comes and removes the toilet. That would suck and maybe they are trying to let us know about their feelings through relieving themselves. I thought about doing that to Kate but I didn't think that that was the most effective method of communication at this point in our relationship. Maybe someone closed the bathroom door and they couldn't get to the box so they selected the next best place.
I am going RIGHT NOW to check the inside of my bass drum as there is a microphone hole in the front that is large enough for a Ric or Roberto.

BR

Tubes

In keeping with the theme of my last blog I am continuing to analyze and be self-aware of my current body structure and function.
It seems that our bodies are filled with tubes and passageways to carry substances from here to there. It is like a vast network of superhighways that can carry cargo at insane speeds and for many different purposes.
Some on these tubes have multiple functions. Five minutes ago I was so amazed as to how my urethra could carry two different substances but only under two very specific conditions. I am so glad we have tubes in us.

BR

I am Joe Camel

I always thought that camels were very interesting creatures. They have an unusual body shape and gait similar to a drunk on a bicycle. They also have this amazing ability to retain large amounts of water for long treks in the desert. As most people know I work in homecare and that requires me to drive for long periods of time throughout my day. I used to drink a normal amount of water in the morning with breakfast and then have to urinate about two to three hours later. Through this job I have evolved to be like Joe Camel.

My bladder can now retain an enormous amount of urine. I drink the same amount of water I used to, but now I don't need to urinate until the end of the day. When I do relieve myself it must be close to a gallon of fresh, clear, healthy urine. As I am driving there really is no other choice but to retain all of this fluid in my bladder. It is hard to find a rest stop and some of the people's homes are so filthy that I would rather not breathe the air inside of their four walls much less than touch my gentiles to aim a stream of urine into their feces stained bowl.

I seem to be over-extending my bladder and I am not sure what the long-term consequences are for this. It saves my time and avoidance of filth on my gentiles by holding it in, but one day by bladder will over extend and burst inside my body. I have to admit that the feeling of finally letting all of the fluid out of my body in one large portion feels very satisfying to say the least. On the other hand I am becoming more camel-like everyday. I have begun to notice my lower abdomen begin to protrude further away from my body with my bladder at maximum capacity resembling a camel hump. When the hump gets even bigger will it throw off my center of gravity and cause me to walk strangely?
Only time and urine will tell.
BR

Inspiration

Some people have the specific effect of promoting a surge of energy in me that leads me to perform some desired task... aka: inspiration.
I have some buddies that provide this surge that I went to college with. They taught me how to think abstractly and randomly that eventually led to my feelings of performance insecurity to gradually dissolve. These people are branded into my soul.
I had some co-workers who inspired me to perform better at my job. They were so incredible at what they do that it would provide a powerful catalyst for me to search for new information. These people are always with me with anything I do at work.
I moved away from those people.
I have recently met some artists whose craft lies within the realm of puppetry and others with music. I am inspired again like a small flame that spreads to engulf the entire city. This energy has waken me up again and is propelling me to destinations unkown. These people provide the energy of today.
To all those who have and currently inspire me, I have much love and admiration for all of you.
BR

No More Work

It is Sunday night and I fear work like I cannot explain. I feel like a soldier in an army that is about to be taken over by an enormous invading force. It is a feeling of roboticism and deja-vu combined. You know that you just had this same feeling about a week ago. A week before that it was there as well. I cannot remember a time when that feeling wasn't there.

No no no! I cannot let this feeling over power me again. I had a high energy weekend filled with music, friends, and late nights. There really is no reason to NOT to want to go to work. Maybe I am being selfish? Maybe I want good times to last all of the time? Can they? To make that happen what must I sacrifice? Is it worth having a house and health insurance? What if I die really early. I mean, if someone gave me a guaramtee for longevity then I could take good times in small weekend sized doses, but I don't have this promise. What if I die in two weeks. What would be the point in all of this?

The only comfort that I could bring to myself is that I may have eased some people's suffering and enhanced their quality of life through my humanitarian occupation. Maybe I am just a fool picking up the broken pieces shattered from people who were broken by the elite. The eliete are the only ones who I know of that get to have a weekend everyday.

OK, I am going to brush my teeth, try not to think about all of the things I want to do right now and mentally prepare for the Monday tomorrow.

BR

BillyReuben Project

This is my first shout out to the world through my computer keypad